Our Gottman Method Couples counselors hear this a lot – It happened again yesterday. You came home, things went wrong, you got in a fight…you did the same song and dance that happens every time. One of you yelled, the other one became critical. You went on the defensive. The other person threw their hands up and withdrew, walking away mad. Yet again you feel angry, disconnected, and completely misunderstood.
There are often ‘dances’ we do in relationships that have become patterns. Sometimes they’re learned from our families of origin, and sometimes they’re a response to our circumstances. Either way, they can be toxic in relationships, and our Atlanta counselors are here to help.
Introducing Gottman Method couples therapy
John and Julie Gottman are world renowned psychologists and researchers who have done over 40 years of research on couples and what ends relationships vs. what keeps relationships going. They even have a lab where couples go and stay and their research team studies them. Our Atlanta Gottman Method counselors love using the research to help couples communicate better, repair conflict, and ultimately feel more connected in their relationships.
One of the great aspects of Gottman Method couples therapy is that it teaches you practical communication skills that can be applied to shift the old ‘dances’ and create a new cycle of effective communication that assists with connection.
When our Atlanta couples therapists work with couples, they learn to shift communication and become more emotionally attuned to one another, empathizing with eachother while also working to solve the solvable conflicts.
One of the difficult things about working with couples is that according to the research, couples generally wait 6 years after a problem has started before they seek help. That’s 6 years of harm, pain, and disconnection. We love to encourage people to start doing the work sooner.
Pretty early in the couples therapy process, couples learning the Gottman Method learn not to use contempt, criticism, stonewalling, and defensiveness in conflict because they are relationship killers. They instead learn the antidotes to each and practice using them in order to then begin utilizing them at home.
Another big component Gottman Method couples therapists in Atlanta will teach clients is the concept that successful couples are intentional. We benefit from really working on relationships for the long run.
Feel free to read more about our therapists, and reach out if you have any questions about Gottman Method.
