Bringing in the new year can be an exciting time for many, but for some it brings anxiety and a sense of fear. It can feel like you’re supposed to have accomplished more or done more, and now you’re looking back at the year and thinking “Where did all the time go? What did I accomplish?” Or maybe you look at last year and you see all of the work accomplishments you had, but your relationship is more disconnected than it’s ever been. You’re realizing all of that goal setting and achieving benefitted you in some ways, but not in your relationship. Our Atlanta counselors can help.
Setting goals for yourself this year isn’t a terrible idea, but you may want to consider really understanding yourself and how you approach goals when you set them. If goals are overwhelming, you may want to shift the ways you’re setting them. If they’re not, great, but keep in mind that we want to consider some things.
- Consider your values when setting goals or aspirations for this year. If you’re not sure, then sit down and make a list of what’s most important to you, then decide on the top five. Now, is what you’re prioritizing in your life aligned with your values? If this is a difficult exercise, see an Atlanta counselor and explore it with them.
- Set SMART goals. These goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time bound. A lot of times when we approach the new year, we set these audacious goals that aren’t realistic for our lives. For example, I haven’t run in over a year. It wouldn’t be realistic for me and my values and lifestyle, to make a goal to run a marathon this year. I just don’t have enough time to dedicate to it because I have a young child and prioritize rest and spending time with my family. Instead, I might set a goal to run a couple miles a week and maybe a 5k by the end of the year. It would be more realistic for me.
- Think about the why behind your goals. If you’re setting goals because other people think you should, but you’re not really bought in, you may need a different goal. Or, you may need to set it in a different way. If we think about my running example, we would consider whether or not I really want to run. The answer is no. I’m not a fan of running and I do it just for the sake of getting movement. So, as an Atlanta counselor I know that if my goal is movement maybe I need to do something different than running. I love dancing. I enjoy power walking. So, can I do those instead of running to accomplish the same outcome I’m wanting which is getting exercise and movement? Absolutely.
- Implement gratitude. If we’re not careful we can focus on all of the things we DIDN’T accomplish last year. That’s so dangerous. Instead, we need to be able to acknowledge what we did do. What we did achieve. What we survived or overcame or got through. And sometimes that looks like simply getting through. And that’s something to thank yourself for. If you’re having a hard time seeing the positive of what you did, that’s another reason to see an Atlanta counselor. You may be dealing with deep rooted negative thinking and youre neural networks keep repeating the same narrative that’s leaving you depressed or distraught.
Ultimately, it can be a positive thing to recognize a new year has come, but let’s not get caught in negative cycles of setting unrealistic goals then feeling bad about ourselves because we didn’t achieve them. Instead, our Atlanta counselors like to encourage people to work to nonjudgmentally approach themselves and set realistic goals that align with what’s important in their lives.
