Your relationship started out amazing. You had lots of fun together, you laughed together, it just made sense to be together. And yet over the years something has shifted. You’re realizing you just can’t quite figure out how to connect with eachother. You’re arguing a lot, and getting nowhere. You feel completely disconnected and aren’t sure how to get on the same page. Our Atlanta couples counselors see this often, and we know how to help.
This situations isn’t as uncommon as you would think, and although that can be disheartening it is also helpful to know you’re not alone and there are some great ways to restore or build something new.
Our Atlanta couples counselors are trained in different couples therapy methods that include Gottman Method, EFT for couples, and prepare enrich for premarital counseling. And we know that relationships take intention.
It’s important to understand that we as humans change along the years. We can’t expect that what worked for us when we first met, will continue to work the whole time. That’s why our couples counselors teach people that intentionality is so important. We benefit from realizing that as we change and grow, our relationship will change and we hope it will grow.
We also know that communication is vital. That means we teach important concepts like avoiding the 4 horsemen (killers of relationships) in communication, and using the more effective tools that were found in the research (including owning your own feelings, seeing your partner’s perspective and taking accountability, self-soothing, and gratitude.)
Wondering where to start? Of course, we always encourage people to see an Atlanta couples counselor. Call us if you are considering seeing someone.
Here are a few things we encourage people to consider when being intentional about their relationship:
1. Schedule regular weekly dates that don’t include screens, talking about children, or talking about conflict.
2. Create small rituals of connection that can assist with small doses of connecting throughout the week (i.e. a non-sexual kiss daily, holding hands when watching tv, sipping coffee on the porch together, texting eachother one thing a day that you like about eachother, etc.)
3. Find ways to create memories together. Take a short trip, or do something different that you haven’t done. Novelty is great for relationships and it doesn’t have to be extreme. For example, you can take a blanket and some food and go have a picnic together.
4. Build your friendship by talking and playing together. If you have a hard time with this, buy a game or look up fun questions to ask eachother.
These aren’t fix alls, and they’re not a substitute for couples counseling. If you’re in a tough spot, find an Atlanta counselor who is trained in working with couples and who you feel comfortable with, and start your journey of reconnecting.
