Every couple has their challenges. Most of the time, they work through them and continue on. However, there are a few things that for many couples are potential dealbreakers. Our Atlanta couples therapists have learned through training and experience, that there are some things that highly impact relationships. Here are three of the biggest relationship killers and what you can do to avoid them.
Lack of Intimacy
You’re thinking “sex” and you wouldn’t be wrong. Having a healthy sex life is important and a lack of sexual intimacy can be devastating to a relationship. BUT, Intimacy is also about being emotionally close. Not sharing special moments or doing things together can erode that emotional closeness that healthy relationships thrive on. It is important to be intentional about building intimacy, friendship, and fondness.
What you can do: Be open to intimacy. Flirt. Make time for each other. Spend time doing things that you enjoy and that bring you closer. Create a vision of your future together and make memories together. Ask eachother open ended questions.
Lack of Communication
It speaks volumes that a lack of communication is the number one reason cited by couples for seeking counseling. It’s also one of the most cited reasons for divorce. Without clear communication, you and your partner cannot be in tune with what each other wants or needs. When someone feels unheard, they just stop talking.
What you can do: Keep the lines of communication open. When you are talking with each other, listen more than you speak. Listen to understand what your partner is trying to tell you. Be open with your partner about what you need. Let your partner know how much you appreciate them and value your relationship. Most importantly, make it a point to check in with each other. Ask the question, “how are we doing?” Our Atlanta couples therapists are great at helping people improve communication skills, and we love what we do!
A Lack of Trust
Whether it’s infidelity, jealousy, or just a lack of faith in your partner, when trust is absent in a relationship, it’s on a fast track to disaster. Your partner needs to know that you are true to your word. You need that same confidence in your partner. If trust is not present, every word and deed will be suspect.
What you can do: The key to building (or rebuilding) trust is transparency, being able to successfully have difficult conversations, and turning towards eachother over and over again. Your partner needs to be able to see that you do what you say you do and that you are trustworthy. Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal of trust in a relationship. Be faithful not just physically but also emotionally. Keep promises you make. Be present in your relationship. If you make a mistake, take responsibility for your actions. Be willing to have the difficult conversations.
Relationships need care and attention. When you nurture them and nourish them, they can thrive.
