Wondering how to sift through what works and doesn’t work when it comes to engaging in couples therapy? I’m an Atlanta couples therapist and I’ve been a therapist for over 13 years. I am trained through level three of Gottman Method (a couples therapy backed by over 30 years of research) with additional training in treating affairs, and in EFT another great couples therapy approach backed by years of research. I’m also highly trained in working with trauma, and also have additional trainings in other methods and treating other issues.
And here’s what I’ve noticed works well in couples therapy:
1. You’re both willing. This doesn’t mean you’re ready to change necessarily, but just that you’re both willing to show up and try based on recommendations in therapy. You might be angry, but you want to not be angry. An Atlanta couples therapist can help you begin to explore how to heal this.
2. You work on your communication skills. Many couples struggle with communication. Often, we go into communication we learned in our family of origin, or patterns we’ve developed over time of ineffectiveness. And so, working to shift the ‘dance’ you do by including simple skills that assist with staying out of criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt and working to really help each partner feel understood can go a long way.
3. You shift the cycle. Many couples fall into a pattern and a great way to shift is to learn the pattern, notice when it happens, and do something different. Something as simple as offering a repair or taking a break when in the middle of conflict can go a long way. Having help to figure out how to shift can be wise so you do it well and don’t fall back into the cycle.
4. You explore the HOW of building emotional intimacy. It can be difficult to feel close in a relationship when you’ve experienced difficulty. But building emotioanl safety and intimacy can be so helpful in building the quality of a relationship, and as an Atlanta Couples therapist, I’ve found this is a big need for so many of my clients.
There are no easy answers to healing a relationship, and this information is not a replacement for seeing an experienced Atlanta couples therapist. If it resonates with you, let me encourage you to reach out and find a skilled professional who can help.
-Mikela Hallmark, MS, LPC, LMHC, CPCS – EMDR certified couples therapist licensed in Maryland, Georgia, and Florida
