Boundaries are a tricky thing. Some people aren’t aware of them, but we all have them. As an Atlanta counselor, I know all too well about how boundaries impact relationships. Having unhealthy boundaries is a tell-tale sign that a person will struggle in life. The reason why is because unhealthy boundaries can either push people away, or cause them to have to be unhealthy with you. Our Atlanta counselors can help you with exploring healthy vs. unhealthy boundaries, and below are some helpful pointers.
What are some signs of unhealthy boundaries that our Atlanta counselors see often? Here are just a few:
1. You tend to get really close to people very quickly, and then before you know it they pull away and are gone. You wonder why they didn’t stick around.
2. You touch everyone you meet. You’re just a physical person. The problem is, sometimes you don’t realize that people tend to try and avoid you altogether, they try to stand far away from you during conversation, or they stop talking to you when they enter relationships.
3. You are right in the middle of everyone’s problems. You find yourself constantly trying to help or fix people. This is a struggle that sometimes takes a toll on you and you feel emotionally exhausted, with no one trying to help you. You like helping people, but sometimes it’s tough for you.
4. People ask you to do things all the time, and you can’t say no. You just give and give and give. You feel tired a lot, but you’re happy that you can help people. Although, you have noticed that people don’t help you as much as you help people.
5. You always expect people to do what you tell them to do. If they don’t, you are frustrated and become moody to the point that people notice.
6. You always expect others to have the same preferences as you. If they don’t, and they made a decision that is not in line with your preference, you become moody to the point that people notice.
7. You sometimes become verbally or physically mean. You say things or do things that you know you shouldn’t but you get caught up in the moment. You have hurt people you love emotionally or physically. You either don’t have control of this or you don’t choose to control this.
Boundaries are tough because we have to pay attention to being too rigid or too loose with our boundaries. That can be tricky. Being too rigid can mean that we push people away or hurt people. Being too loose can mean that we become taken advantage of or lose our personal identity.
The good news is there are lots of ways our Atlanta counselors can help with boundaries. One of the keys to figuring out your boundaries is to explore how your boundaries are helping you and hurting you, and how they are helping others and hurting others. Once you figure that out, you can start evaluating which boundaries you need to adjust in order to live a more positive uplifting life, for yourself and for others.