When people ask me about Christian counseling in Atlanta, I share with them that if they’re looking for biblical guidance, I’m not a good fit. If they’re looking for judgment, I’m not a good fit. If they’re looking for someone to tell them what to do, I’m not a good fit.
What I can help people with, is taking a look at their lives and struggles from a spiritual perspective. I help them with asking themselves things like ‘how does my spirituality inform this decision?’ or ‘Is what I’m doing line up with my morals and values?’
And, honestly, even my Atlanta clients who aren’t Christians hear these same questions.
But, every once in a while I like to quote someone who challenges me to think in new ways. And, I’m about to do that here.
Yesterday I posted a video on social media in which I was discussing being brave. I talked about how really walking in the full purpose of our lives takes bravery and risk. Obviously we want to take WISE risks, and at the same time there are no guarantees. And, in fact one of the few guarantees we have is:
NOONE IS PERFECT.
That’s right. You will not be perfect. I will not be perfect. We are human and that means we come with imperfection. And, for those who struggle with perfectionism, we can be so harsh on ourselves when we don’t measure up to our own expectations that we become critical, speak to ourselves in judgmental ways, and forget to love and enjoy the process. We compare ourselves to others, and become upset with the fact that we don’t measure up to what we see in them.
But, walking in our purpose can be such a crazy, fun, exciting, scary, and joyful process.
So, why not choose to accept that we are imperfect, and do it anyways? Why not stop avoiding our imperfection by avoiding taking risks and doing things? Michael Jordan talks about how many shots he missed in practice. He wasn’t perfect, and yet he was successful. Oprah was fired from an on-air job. She wasn’t perfect. And yet she was successful.
And of course, we don’t have to experience our definition of ‘success’ in order to walk in our purpose. Sometimes not succeeding in what we thought we would is a lesson in itself and can be exactly what was meant to be. We never know how many lives we touch, people we bless, growth opportunities we experience when we take brave steps despite the outcome.
When I posted the video, someone commented. And honestly, her comment made me think. And so, I’m choosing to share her comment with you. She’s not a psychologist, and this is not counseling. Posting the comment is solely for the purpose of helping you consider something. This is admittedly a comment from a Christian perspective. But, even if you aren’t Christian, see if you can pull some nuggets from it. See if it helps you shift your view on things.
“Someone recently called me out on this very issue in a biblical way and it’s been extremely freeing…The pursuit of perfection is a manifestation of pride…We are not capable of perfection this side of heaven and we are called to trust God. There was only one who is perfect. As long as we are serving Him in accordance with His word we won’t ‘fail’ as our reward is not always found here. Also, what others perceive as failure can often be counted as success in the eyes of God. This is a mind shift if one is not a believer because it doesn’t make worldly sense. Godly success often looks very different than worldly success due to the focus…I have been praying for the Lord to show me when these occasions arise so I can remember to release that fear/anxiety to move forward in humility and courage with the Lord as my strength.” – Lisa Dame Rose
I often find myself helping clients to reframe their thinking. To understand that life is more than numbers, more than money, more than fame. Our purpose is much deeper than notoriety. When we can connect with this, and honor our humanity by accepting imperfection, we are able to live in a much more free kind of way.
If you’re struggling with connecting with purpose, then feel free to reach out. Find a counselor. Explore what your meaning is. Trust me when I say, there is value in your present and future. You have something to give in this world.