New Year’s is historically a time for well-intentioned resolutions, a blank slate, and a reset.  We enter January determined to not fall into the same behaviors and patterns that, in previous years, kept us from where we want to be.  We’re optimistic with our hopes, plans, and outlines for success. Our Atlanta therapists get it.

So what happens when we go off track and our best intentions and well-laid plans don’t get us to the finish line?

All too often, that’s when disappointment, hurt, guilt, shame, and our inner critic gets really active. You make repeated vows to get back on track tomorrow or Monday or after a particular situation or event ends.  Pretty soon the days fly by and it’s March with no perceived progress, and a nasty voice starts whispering that you’re a failure.

Can we just encourage you that it’s not over?

You’re not alone.  This Atlanta therapist promises that you are not the only one feeling like a failure. And I have some tips to help.

  1. Practice Self Compassion

Self-compassion is honoring the fact that you have value simply because you are a human.  Your value does not depend on your self-evaluation, others’ perceptions, or your progress on your goals. 

Self-compassion isn’t self-pity or excusing yourself from making choices that you wish you hadn’t.  Rather, it’s holding space for the fact that humans aren’t perfect, and therefore you won’t always do everything perfectly.

One easy way to practice self-compassion is to acknowledge your humanity.  It is normal for people to make mistakes.  In your mind, rehearse the fact that you are not the only person going through this and that many people have difficulty making changes. Our Atlanta therapists frequently teach the concept of normalizing

2. Release Judgment

Self-judgment is a part of shame, and shame keeps us stuck.  You can accept responsibility for where you are and what you have or have not done; this is actually healthy. But you can do this without starting down a shame spiral.

Releasing yourself from the self-punishment actually helps you move forward

Try talking to yourself like you would talk to a friend.  What would you say?  How would you want them to feel?  Chances are, you wouldn’t look at them and call them a failure or disgusting or a disgrace.  You would probably want them to know that tomorrow is a new day, or a fresh start begins this moment.

If it’s true for someone else, it can be true for you.

3. Realign With Your Values

You might want to ask your Atlanta Therapist what on earth this has to do with anything. 

Your values can heavily influence your choices.  Your values act as your roots, keeping you grounded and planted in what’s really important to you. 

Returning to your values can help keep you from making choices that leave you feeling disappointed and like a failure.

 Maybe you’re looking at these tips and feeling overwhelmed.  You might be reading this and wanting to know more about how these ideas can actually help you achieve your goals for the new year. 

If you’re ready to get back on track but feel like you need help, reach out to schedule an appointment today.